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babydee1Enjoy. Rated NC-17, so no minors, please.
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ctbn60. I hope you all like it as much as I do. Thank you so much Carol - it's perfect!!! :-D ***WARNING: Banner under the cut because it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK, I repeat, NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!! And not safe to open in front of children, either. Seriously. There are substantial man-bits on show in all their manly glory!!! You have been warned!!!***
Title: Something in the Air
Author: BabyDee1
Pairing: Chlark
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Crack!fic. My first. Be gentle. ;-) Also gratuitous, PWP sex. :-P
Timeline: Season 5-ish
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the CW & DC comics.
Summary: The Laws of Physics (and Common Sense) finally come into play regarding Clark’s superspeed.
Feedback: …always welcome. :-)
For firebunny, the Crack!fic Queen of Chlarkdom. Hope you had a happy birthday, babes!
Read previous chapter here.
Something in the Air, Part 2
Chloe stared worriedly at Clark’s prone form as they were dragged/carried further and further into the forest. The glowing green stones on their jackets was clearly kryptonite, and it was weakening Clark with every step they took.
“Of all the states in America to buy buttons from,” she muttered under her breath. “Why Kansas?”
“Only Kansas State accept Wings of Hammad Airline frequent flyer miles,” was the curt answer from the guard marching her through the bush. “Redeem air miles, get buttons free; pay no money.”
“Terrific,” she said, deadpanned.
They walked on for several more minutes before stopping. Both she and the barely-conscious, still-naked Clark were unceremoniously dumped in a corner, and a gun-wielding henchman stood guard over them whilst the others got to work prepping the area.
Apparently, their captors were all born woodsmen. It didn’t take them long to decimate a few trees, make a small clearing and convert the resulting stump into a makeshift chopping block. Job done.
Chloe made a wry face. She found it extremely ironic that for all the automatic firepower they were toting, a rusty axe with a wooden handle was their instrument of choice when it actually came down to brass tacks.
“Man dies first,” declared the head honcho. “Then we kill the Whore.”
“Hey, it was just the one time, and it wasn’t even that great, okay?” she protested.
Her words were ignored. They dragged the still-unconscious, still-naked Clark over to the centre of the clearing and strapped him to the tree-stump. One of the guards instructed everyone to stand back so as not to get blood on their uniforms, and one by one they spaced out, leaving a sizeable clearing around their captive.
Immediately, the green buttons on their uniforms lost their eerie glow. Chloe held her breath and stared at Clark, her heart leaping with joy as she noticed an instant improvement in his body language. His buns definitely looked perkier, for a start. She couldn’t see his frontal bits from where she was standing, but chances were that was pretty perky, too.
The headsman slowly approached with his axe, and despite feeling more confident she gulped in fear. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, but she heaved a sigh of relief when she saw that his all-black get-up was fully fastened with plain old, everyday snaps.
After some mass chanting from the gathered henchmen, the axe-man uttered a quick prayer, and then raised the axe high above his head.
“Clark, now!” she shouted.
The axe descended and landed in the tree stump with a thud. A victory cheer went up around the clearing…followed quickly by a unified shriek of disbelief.
Clark had done his thing. The sounds from the camp receded quickly as he scooped her up in his arms and whooshed off at top speed.
Chloe held on tightly to Clark and smiled. No doubt the chopping block would still be put to good use. Heads would definitely roll to appease Sheikh Hammad’s wrath as he queried the sudden disappearance and possible whereabouts of the mysterious Naked Man. And the Whore.
***
They were back in Kansas within minutes.
“Here you are,” Clark said as he set her down in the Talon. “Home, sweet---Hoooooly Mama, you’re completely naked!”
“What?” she exclaimed, and glanced down at herself. True to his word, her clothes were gone. HammerPants, gemstone bra, veil, slippers…all disappeared.
“I’m naked!” she cried. “Wow, how did that happen? There really must be something in the air!”
“Or the Laws of Physics finally caught up with my superspeed…” he added.
“Yah, that too,” she mused. “Ah, well…look at that; I’m naked.”
“Yes, you are,” he said hungrily, his voice deepening. “So am I.”
“So, you’re naked, I’m naked…and we’re dusty,” she observed. “We should go get cleaned up.”
“Together,” he suggested. “The Laws of Common Sense dictate that we share a shower. To save water, of course.”
“Of course,” she readily agreed. “Conservation of the natural environment is key to the survival of humanity.”
“Exactly.” He made a gentlemanly gesture. “After you, Chlo.”
She smiled and sashayed to the bathroom, and he feasted his eyes on her swaying behind every step of the way. They stepped into the shower together and stood together under the cool spray, covering each other in soapy suds.
“Oops,” Chloe said dramatically as the soap slipped from her hands and landed on the floor. “Clumsy me. I’ll just get that…”
She sank to her knees, and her cheek brushed his jutting erection as she crouched before him. A harsh sound rose in his throat, and Chloe looked up at him with a concerned look.
“Clark, are you okay?” she asked. “Looks to me like you’re really uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable?” he managed to croak past the lump in his throat.
“You know…hard, and hot and…and achy.” Her finger traced the throbbing vein pulsing in his turgid length from base to tip, and he bit back another one of those moans.
“The Laws of Nature dictate that I balance out the pain with some soothing,” she said smoothly. “Would you like me to soothe it for you?”
His cock bobbed stiffly as her fingertip made slow, leisurely circles in the slick moisture at the slit. “Oh yes, Chloe,” he grunted, as her warm breath wafted over the tip. “Soothe my ache. Soothe it good.”
Chloe smiled up at him and reared up on her knees as she wrapped her hands around his thickness and guided him into her mouth. There was no teasing, no slow-going; she just got down to business and…sucked.
“Fuck!” he swore harshly. She was a really good soother. The things she was doing with her tongue made his toes curl in delight.
“Yeah, Chloe; like that, yeah,” he moaned. “Damn, that’s really soothing…”
He blindly grabbed a handful of her wet hair and urged her forward as she moved on him, her mouth and tongue sliding on his shaft as she sucked him faster and faster until he was on the verge of exploding.
“Yes, Chloe…yes!” he cried as his orgasm powered through him. He clutched her shoulders and shuddered as he spent himself in her mouth, then took deep breaths as the pulsing pleasure gradually eased.
Chloe finally lifted her mouth from him and he quickly pulled her to her feet.
“That was amazing,” he breathed.
She grinned. “You feeling better?”
“Uh…yes, and no,” he replied, and she tilted her head in silent query.
“How do you mean?”
“Well…yes, my ache has been soothed, but your act of kindness has just created an imbalance in the universe, because now you’re aching, too.”
***
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Date: 2012-03-25 07:16 pm (UTC)“The Laws of Common Sense dictate that we share a shower. To save water, of course.”
Of course!
Here's to the crack and getting Chlark naked posthaste!
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Date: 2012-03-25 08:05 pm (UTC)Glad I could make you laugh, Jen. Will post the final chapter after dinner. Stay tuned! :-)
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Date: 2012-03-26 03:52 am (UTC)Chlark - We are water-savers. :D
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Date: 2012-03-27 01:14 am (UTC)Glad you like, Kim!
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Date: 2012-03-26 11:35 am (UTC)Great new fic!
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Date: 2012-03-27 01:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-26 12:27 pm (UTC)This was awesome and I hope Clark 'soothes' Chloe good. :)PPMS!
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Date: 2012-03-27 01:15 am (UTC)Thanks for commenting, Selene! *hugs*
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Date: 2012-03-26 07:26 pm (UTC)Yay!! I'm so happy it isn't over yet. :-)
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Date: 2012-03-27 01:16 am (UTC)Thanks for your comments, Niki! *cuddles*
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Date: 2012-03-27 05:21 pm (UTC)*dies*
"she noticed an instant improvement in his body language. His buns definitely looked perkier, for a start. She couldn’t see his frontal bits from where she was standing, but chances were that was pretty perky, too."
I love that she can tell he's better just by looking at his bum. Hee!
See, that's what makes her the best reporter in the world.
"“So, you’re naked, I’m naked…and we’re dusty,” she observed. “We should go get cleaned up.”
“Together,” he suggested. “The Laws of Common Sense dictate that we share a shower. To save water, of course.”
Of course they have to save water. He is a Boy Scout, after all.
"“Well…yes, my ache has been soothed, but your act of kindness has just created an imbalance in the universe, because now you’re aching, too.”
And we can't have any imbalances in the universe. So of course now they HAVE to have sex. To save the universe. He is also a hero, after all. ;-)
I love this, Dee!
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Date: 2012-03-27 08:32 pm (UTC)*dies*
Meteor Rock Buttons! Get your Meteor Rock Buttons this way! *g* Honestly, those Smallvillians will sell anything... ;-)
"I love that she can tell he's better just by looking at his bum. Hee!
See, that's what makes her the best reporter in the world."
Her powers of bumbservation are a credit to her! :-D
"Of course they have to save water. He is a Boy Scout, after all."
Naturally. Waste not, want
sex!not, and all that... ;-)"And we can't have any imbalances in the universe. So of course now they HAVE to have sex. To save the universe. He is also a hero, after all. ;-)"
He's a hero dedicated to saving the world, by whatever means necessary! :-P
"I love this, Dee!"
Aw, thanks Dawnie! *cuddles* :-)
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Date: 2012-04-24 05:30 am (UTC)Thank you so much for the birthday present. Sorry for my belated response.
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Date: 2012-04-24 06:02 pm (UTC)*hyperventilates* OMG OMG OMG I just got the Firebunny Crack!fic Stamp of Approval!!! :-O *faints* :-D
" Thank you so much for the birthday present. Sorry for my belated response."
It was more of a pleasure than you could ever believe. Many thanks for being such an inspiration!!! *cuddles* :-)