Chlollie Fanfic: Love For Realsies, Chapter 18

[babydee1]

Update!  Update!!  Read all about it!!!

Sorry for the wait, guys...had to work some Chlark smut outta my system. ;-)

And speaking of Chlark...no, your eyes are not decieving you: that is a Chlark icon at the top of the page.  That's because ***WARNING***  Oliver Queen does not appear in this episode chapter, and the entire thing is told from Clark's POV.  BUT, unlike TPTB, where 'out of sight = out of mind', our Golden Boy is very much the focus of discussion.

Enjoy!  Hopefully, some of Chloe's fears will start to make sense to y'all.  And some of Clark's dickish behaviour.  Not that anyone around here cares much about Clark, anymore... :-)

...I'll just leave you to read the story, yeah? :-P

Title:              Love For Realsies

Author:          BabyDee
Pairing:          Chlollie

Rating:           PG-13

Warnings:     Clark POV, no Ollie in this chapter (but still very Chollie-heavy!!!)

Timeline:      Season 9 (Conspiracy - Checkmate), sequel to Just for Funsies

Disclaimer:   All characters belong to the CW & DC comics. 

Summary:     Chloe finds it increasingly difficult to resist Ollie’s affections.

Feedback:      …makes me squee. J

 

 

Read previous chapter here.

Read story from the beginning here.

 

 

 

Chapter 18

 

 

Chloe must honestly think he had shit for brains. 

 

Clark had prepared a nice t-bone steak with salad and potatoes which he’d put in front of Chloe with a stern instruction to eat.  He’d set about clearing up the cooking utensils, but kept a cautious eye on her as she’d pushed the food all around her plate, noticing that the meat was disappearing in large chunks as soon as his back was turned, and certainly much faster than she could possibly be chewing it. 

 

“You know, a lot of love and care went into preparing that steak, Chloe,” he admonished sternly.  “You could at least try to eat some of it.”

 

“Hey, I’ve almost finished,” she said defensively, tilting the plate to prove it to him.  “See?”

 

“Yes, I see,” he said derisively.  “I see you’ve almost finished passing sizeable morsels of beef to the very happy dogs under the table.” 

 

Chloe’s face reddened guiltily as two wagging tails swept the floor at her feet, ratting her out.  Clark folded his arms and fixed her with a serious stare.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said meekly.  “I’m just not really that hungry.” 

 

He sighed.  Chloe would never admit it, but she was totally heartsick.  She had it bad.  He’d never seen her like this, ever. 

 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he suggested.  “It’ll do you good, and the dogs will appreciate the fresh air and freedom.” 

 

She nodded.  “That sounds good.”

 

He smiled and held out his hand.  “’Kay.  Let’s go.” 

 

Chloe took his proffered hand and together they walked down the porch steps and into the late afternoon sunshine.  They let the dogs lead the way, and just walked slowly in companionable silence, each one alone with their thoughts.

 

After about a half hour or so of walking, they emerged on the banks of Crater Lake.  The dogs ran ahead and cautiously played by the water’s edge as Clark and Chloe walked along the short pier and took their shoes off before sitting down and dangling their feet off the edge. 

 

Clark let her sit in silence for a while, her toes cresting the water as her expression went from sad to morose. 

 

“So what happened?” he asked when he felt enough time had passed.

 

Chloe took a deep breath, and then answered.  “Oliver said he loved me.” 

 

Clark felt his heart constrict at her words, but forced his tone to remain neutral.  “Of course he does.  And for some reason, you seem to think that’s a bad thing.  Care to elaborate why?”

 

Her eyes shuttered over as she shook her head.  “You wouldn’t understand.”

 

“Try me.”

 

She ran her hands through her hair and sighed.  “I didn’t want him to get all emotional about me, because I specifically told him I only wanted a physical relationship.”

 

Clark stared hard at her, a shuttered expression on his face.  “But that was before you fell in love with him, right?”

 

She flushed wildly.  “I never said I loved him.”

 

“You didn’t have to.”

 

“I mean, I care about him, sure, but –”

 

“Oh, stop with the denial, Chloe,” he said, sounding mildly irritated.  “You were bawling your eyes out pretty hard for a girl who just dumped someone she wasn’t serious about.”

 

“Well, I…I was just upset about a lot of different things…”

 

“You looked like you’d just had your heart ripped out.  So did he, for that matter.”

 

Chloe lowered her gaze to the rippling water.  “How’s he doing?” she asked quietly.

 

Clark sighed and shook his head.  “Not too good,” he admitted.  “You need to  see him, Chloe, he’s a broken man…”

 

“Is he drinking again?” she asked sharply.

 

“No,” he said firmly.  “Definitely not.” 

 

She smiled sadly.  “Well, there’s your proof that he can’t be hurting all that bad.”

 

“He’s not drinking because he’s not that person anymore,” he said harshly.  “You of all people know how far he fell before getting his life back on track.”

 

“And he did all that without a woman by his side,” she replied.  “He doesn’t need me to stay sober.  Oliver’s strong, Clark; he’ll get over me, and move on.”

 

“You really think distancing yourself from him will facilitate that?” he challenged.  “Chloe, running away from him isn’t going to change how he feels about you; it doesn’t work that way.”

 

She folded her arms.  “Well, it worked when you left.  I got over you, didn’t I?”

 

He flinched as if he’d been struck by kryptonite.  He knew he had no right to be offended by her words, after everything he’d put her through, but still…

 

That one hurt.

 

Suddenly she shifted, and he realised she was waiting for an answer.

 

“We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you and Oliver,” he eventually replied.

 

“Not anymore,” she said bluntly.  “I’ve made up my mind, and that’s that.  Oliver and I are through.”

 

“My God, Chloe, have you lost your mind?” he yelled, exasperated.  “He’s heartbroken, and your stubborn pride is just killing him-”

 

“I’m saving his life!” she cried. 

 

He stared, and then narrowed his eyes at her.  “What?”

 

Her shoulder slumped and she lifted a hand to wipe the tears that came to her eyes.  “I’m saving his life, Clark.”

 

“By…breaking his heart?” he asked, more than puzzled.

 

“By getting away from him while I still can,” she said softly. 

 

Clark scratched his head, perplexed, and finally shrugged.  “I’m stumped.  What on earth are you rambling about?”

 

“Isn’t it obvious?” she asked wryly.  “I’m cursed, Clark.  Anytime something good comes my way, something bad happens to take it away from me.” 

 

He stared at her, dumbfounded. 

 

“Okay, now that? is the craziest thing I have ever heard.” he said when he could finally speak.  “You’re saying you let Oliver go because you think you’ll bring him bad luck??”

 

“I know what I’m talking about, Clark,” she said stubbornly.  “Everyone I love either leaves or dies.  My Mom, my Dad, Lana, Jimmy, even you -”

 

“I came back!” he exclaimed, grabbing her arms.  “Chloe, I’m right here!”

 

“But we lost what we had,” she whispered numbly.  “We were never the same after that, and you know it.”

 

His lips thinned.  “Then your logic’s flawed, Chloe, because you never told me you loved me.”

 

“I told Jor-El,” she said softly.  “Up at the fortress, when I went to plead with him to restore Kara’s powers.”

 

His eyes widened in shock, and he stared at her for what felt like ages.  He’d always suspected, but she’d never said…

 

Eventually he swallowed and spoke.  “You never told me.  Why did you never tell me?”

 

She shrugged.  “It was irrelevant.  You never felt the same way.” 

 

“You don’t know that,” he said softly.

 

She snorted.  “Please.  Your actions over the last year put me in my place about your feelings – or lack thereof – for me, thank you.  But enough about that.  My concern is for Oliver and how his feelings for me keep putting him in danger.”

 

“Long before Oliver met you he was putting himself in dangerous situations,” Clark reasoned.    “He swings from rooftops of skyscrapers and wields a compound bow, for heaven’s sake.  We’re crimefighters, Chloe; danger’s pretty much a given.  It has nothing to do how he feels about you.”

 

"You think I'm pulling this stuff out of my ass?" she cried.  "I had to hold Jimmy while he was dying, Clark.  I felt him growing colder, saw the blood draining out of him…and there wasn’t a thing I could do to stop it.”

 

“That wasn’t your fault,” he said softly, but she barrelled on.

 

“You think I'd risk letting something like that happen to Ollie?” she asked, and shook her head vigorously.  “My God, I would sooner die than see him get hurt, so if I can prevent it, I will.  Even if I have to live in pain for the rest of my own life."

 

"But you're hurting him right now, Chloe,” he pointed out.  “Both of you are hurting, and the only thing that can heal you is each other."

 

But Chloe shook her head, determined to believe the worst of herself.  "I'm bad news, Clark.  I'm like...like poison.  I’m no good for him…"

 

"Then let him be the judge of that," he said wisely.  "Tell him your fears, and let him decide if you're worth the risk or not.  He deserves that much, at least."

 

Chloe’s pretty features clouded over, and he could see her resolve wavering.  Encouraged, he went on.

 

"He loves you so much, Chloe," he went on softly.  "I've never seen him like this about anyone.  Both of you deserve the chance to be happy.  Don't stand in the way of that."

 

For a second, her eyes lit up with hope, but then the look was gone and she shook her head stubbornly.

 

“No,” she said with an air of finality.  “Oliver’s better off without me.”

 

A seriously frustrated Clark clenched his fists in rage.  Getting Chloe to change her mind was worse than pulling teeth from a crocodile. 

 

“Oh, is that what you want?” he exploded harshly.  “Fine!  Make the biggest mistake of your life and walk away from him.  You’ll get to sit by and watch while he breaks some poor girl’s heart over and over because he can’t get you out of his mind.” 

 

She stared at him with wide eyes, and he laughed cruelly.  “Or worse, watch while he does get over you; then you can experience your heart breaking into a million little pieces every time you see them together because you can’t stop loving him.  You’ll be tormented everyday because you had it all, but chose to throw it all away.  Is that really what you want?  Because trust me, you don’t want to live with that kind of pain!”

 

Clark’s voice echoed loudly in the enclosure, the sound amplified as the angry tirade carried over the still water.  Whining in fear, Shelby and Onyx turned and headed back towards the safety of the house at full speed.

 

Shaken, Chloe dropped her head into her hands and cried.  He didn’t try to soothe her or comfort her; just let his words sink in and take effect, as he’d hoped they would.

 

Finally she spoke.  “Okay, I admit it; I feel the same way for him as he does for me,” she sobbed.  But…I’m scared, Clark.  I’m so scared.  I can’t lose him.  If I stayed with him and something bad happened…”

 

“You can’t control the universe, Chloe,” he said gently.  “I know that’s why you set up Watchtower, to try and have a hand in everything that goes on so that you can fix it when it starts going pear-shaped…but sometimes, shit happens.  Bad shit.  And there’s nothing we can do about it but learn to live with what’s left behind.” 

 

“But in this case, the bad shit’s all my fault, and as long as I stay away from Ollie…”

 

Clark laughed shortly.  “Listen to yourself, Chloe.  You’re beginning to sound a lot like…” he paused.

 

“Like you on National I’m to Blame Day?” she supplied helpfully.

 

He chuckled.  “Not the exact words I would have chosen, but the point is clear.  How many times did you lecture me on blaming myself for things I couldn’t possibly have caused or prevented?  How often have you cautioned me on harbouring unnecessary guilt?”

 

She said nothing and idly fingered a pebble on the dock.  Clark held her shoulders and turned her towards him so that she could look into his eyes.

 

“Chloe, Jimmy dying…it wasn’t your fault,” he said.  “We didn’t blame you-”

 

“Yeah, you did,” she said, her voice hard and eyes cold.  “You all did.  And you were right, I deserved it-”

 

“No,” he said forcefully.  “All you did, all you tried to do, was keep Davis as far away from everyone as you possibly could.  It was Tess who took the Phantom Zone option off the table to try and force a confrontation, and it was Oliver and I who failed to agree on a coherent plan.  You did everything you could to avoid carnage, Chloe.  All the errors that led to Jimmy’s death were not your fault.”

 

“But…” she swallowed.  “Jimmy died saving my life…” 

 

“And you think he’d be happy to know that you plan on spending that life in misery, denying yourself of love out of guilt?” he pointed out.  “Chloe, you knew him better than the rest of us.  Is that something he’d have wanted for you?” 

 

Slowly she shook her head.  “All he ever tried to do was make me happy,” she whispered. 

 

Clark nodded.  “And now you can be,” he said softly.  “You have a second chance at life, Chloe.  Don’t waste it sitting in a corner lonely when there’s a man who loves you deeply, who’d give anything to make you smile.” 

 

“I want to be with him, Clark – I really do,” she said brokenly.  “I feel so empty without him.  But if I say those words to him, and something happens…”

 

“Then don’t say the words,” he replied simply.  “Create your own loophole, if you will.”

 

She frowned.  “What do you mean?”

 

“If you can’t tell him how you feel, then show it to him.  You can work your way around that, can’t you?” 

 

She nodded slowly, her eyes slowly brightening as she considered this new idea.  “I think…I think that could work.” 

 

***

 

Chapter 19…