babydee1: (Chlark - Hidden)
[personal profile] babydee1
Hola, my Peeps! :-)

I know I have a ton of reviews to plough through, but I thought I should post this baby first and then get around to them. 

Next Crisis chapter, folks.  Enjoy! 

Awesome banner by doomedxdream. :) 



Title:              Crisis 
Author:          BabyDee 
Pairing:          Chlark/Kaloe 
Rating:           PG-13 for disturbing themes & one incidence of bad language
Warnings: ***Angst***  
Timeline:      Season 2-3 (Exodus – Exile; Clark’s RedK Summer & beyond) 
Disclaimer:   All characters belong to the CW & DC comics  
Summary:     A violent encounter between Chloe and Clark threatens to destroy their friendship forever. 
Feedback:      …would be appreciated. :) 

Read previous chapter here
Read story from the beginning here



Chapter 31


“Chloe?” he said as she got to her feet.  “What are you---?” the words died on his lips when he saw the lead box in her hand and he instinctively stumbled backwards. 


Chloe frowned at his reaction and glanced down, her eyes widening as she saw what he was looking at. 


 “Oh – no,” she said, and quickly put it in her pocket.  No, I’m not …I just…I…” she sighed and ran a hand through her hair.  “Would you walk with me?” 


He took a deep breath.  “Chloe, I need to get to the station---”


“I need to talk to you,” she insisted.  “It shouldn’t take long.” 


He stared at her pocket with a guarded expression on his face, and she shook her head.  “I didn’t bring it to harm you, Clark,” she said softly.  “I just want to talk.”


He nodded.  “Okay.” 


“Can we walk?” 


The last time she’d said those words, the outcome hadn’t been pretty.  He hoped and prayed with every fibre of his being that this time, things would be different. 


“Alright,” he said.  


***


For someone who wanted to talk, Chloe was pretty quiet for the first five-hundred yards or so.  She took several deep breaths, as if she was gearing up for something. 


“I’ve done things I’ve regretted,” she blurted out suddenly.  “Spiteful things.” 


Clark frowned, and then remembered the last question he’d posed to her in the desert right before she’d insisted he bring her back home. 


“I was five when my Dad took me for my first haircut,” she went on.  “Mom had just left, and he didn’t know the first thing about unsnarling unruly locks, so when I got a bad case of nits about a month later, Dad did the sensible thing and had my waist-long hair all cut off.”


She paused, and then continued.  “My cousins laughed at me, and teased me; saying I looked like a boy and I’d never get married…mean stuff that kids say,” she said.  “I waited until they were sleeping, and then I put gum in Lois’s hair, so her Dad had to cut her hair off, too.  Then when Lucy wouldn’t let me borrow her yellow dress, I spilled ink on it, so it was ruined.” 


She took another deep breath, and he figured she was gearing up to whatever it was she really wanted to say to him. 


“I made a deal with Lionel, Clark,” she said quietly.  “I agreed to spy on you and give him information in exchange for the column at the Daily Planet.” 


***


Clark stopped dead in his tracks.  A chill ran down his spine and he froze, rooted to the spot in fear. 


“Lionel Luthor asked me observe you and pass him detailed reports on anything unusual I discovered about you,” she continued in a low voice.  “I…I told him I would do it.” 


“But…why?” he whispered. 


She lowered her gaze.  “I saw you and Lana kissing in the barn, and I felt…hurt and betrayed,” she said quietly.  “I was coming to warn you of what Lionel had offered me and why.  I didn’t want the column after I found out what he wanted me to do, and I told him where he could stick his job offer.  I came straight to tell you, but when I saw you and Lana up there, kissing…”


“After I’d promised to be honest with you,” he finished, and sighed.  Then he had a terrifying thought.  “What…what did you tell him?”


“Absolutely nothing,” she said.  “But he knows you’re different, Clark.  You need to be careful of him.” 


“You didn’t tell him anything?” he repeated, and he saw a flash of annoyance in her eyes.  


“I already told you that,” she snapped.  “If you think I’d lie to you about something as serious as thi---”


“Oh my God, is that why he fired your dad?” he said, realisation dawning.  “And why you lost the column, and…and why the Torch has been stripped of all its computers…” his heart sank, and he ran a tired hand through his hair.  “Oh God, Chloe, why didn’t you say anything?” 


“I thought I could handle it---”


“No, not that; what I mean is, why didn’t you tell Lionel the truth about me?” he asked. 


Chloe’s eyes widened.  “He’s bad news, Clark.  God knows what he’d do to you if he knew who you really are.” 


“But he’s put you through so much hell, and with everything else I did to you…oh, my God,” he said hollowly. 


She lowered her gaze.  “Guess that’s what I get for betraying my best friend.” 


“Betraying me?” he echoed.  “Chloe, you protected me!  And don’t you dare imply for one second that you deserved what I did to you.  You should have protected yourself and your family first.” He lowered his head into his hands.  “God, Chloe, I’m so sorry…”


“It was my decision to make a deal with the devil,” she said blankly.  “I played with fire, and I got burned.” 


“Chloe, don’t you understand?” he said helplessly.  “Even after everything I did to you, you still protected me---”


“Yeah, whilst torturing you and trying to kill you,” she said hoarsely, and pressed a despairing hand to her forehead.  “God, I am so fucked up…” 


“You would never have hurt me if I hadn’t hurt you first,” he said raggedly.  “That’s why I have to do this.  Once I’m put away, you’ll find it easier to get back to normal without me being around to remind you of…of everything.”


“But I’m feeling better already,” she protested.  “I think I’m gonna be okay now.”   


Clark shook his head.  “It’s not that simple.  You need to speak to someone, Chloe.”


“And you don’t?” she said, giving him a guarded sidelong glance.  “Clark, you raped your best friend.  Yes, there were a strange set of circumstances that led up to it, but the fact remains that you have a lot of unresolved anger and you need to sort it out.  And you can’t do that if you’re sitting in a jail cell.” 


He stiffened.  “Chloe---” 


“Not to mention all the lives that stand to be lost because you won’t be around to save them,” she added. 


He shook his head.  “Chloe, you can’t change my mind on this.  I need to go to prison for what I did to you!”


“And your parents?” she said softly as he turned to go back.  “Have you even stopped to think about what this will do to them?”


“Of course I have,” he said miserably.  “But I can’t use them as an excuse to avoid punishment for my crime, Chloe.  I need to make atonement.”  He turned and walked back down the street towards the police station, but Chloe followed him, doing her best to match his lengthy strides. 


“Fine, so do it in another way, but not this,” she insisted.  “You go to prison, people will die, Clark.  Your parents will lose everything they’ve worked for, and you will never get to the bottom of your anger issues.”


“I don’t have any anger issues!” he argued. 


She snorted.  “So raping me was what, sport?”


He blanched.  “No, of course not!”


“Then why did you do it?” she challenged, almost breaking into a run as she tried to keep up.  “Tell me, Clark – why?” 


He swallowed.  “Because…I was…”


“…angry?” she supplied.  “Bitter?  You were pissed at me, Clark, enough to want to hurt me.  And that was long before you put the ring on.  You said it yourself, Brainiac made his suggestions based on what he found inside you to feed off of.” 


She sprinted forwards and stood in front of him with her hand held out, forcing him to come to a halt. 


“For whatever reason, you have a lot of latent resentment, Clark.  All Brainiac did was strike a match and hold it to the powder-keg that was your emotions, and the result…” she shuddered and tightened her folded arms.  “Still think you don’t have anger issues?” 


Clark sighed and stared at the ground.  “You should have given Lionel what he wanted,” he said quietly. 


“You’re changing the subject---” 


“He went after you because of me, because of what I am,” he said.  “But I won’t let him hurt you anymore; I’ll tell him whatever he wants to know, so that he’ll leave you alone.”


“I don’t want you to do that,” she said flatly, and he sighed. 


“Chloe, I want to help you,” he asked wearily.   “How can I do that?  What do you want from me?  Just tell me, please.” 


She took a deep breath.  “For starters, I want you to get help,” she said.  “You have some serious issues, and you need to face them and sort them out, preferably without the need to drug yourself first.  And you can’t do that if you’re in jail.” 


Actually…I can,” he said slowly. 


Chloe frowned.  “What do you mean?” 


“They offer inmate counselling to convicts, don’t they?” he said.  “Once I’m on the inside, I can join a program---”


“Are you listening to me?” she cried.  “You can’t go to jail, Clark, it’ll ruin your life!” 


“I’ve already ruined one life, Chloe,” he said, looking at her with sad, despondent eyes.  “Yours.  And unless I take responsibility for it, you won’t be able to move forward.” 


“But you’ve taken responsibility, Clark, you’ve tried to help me at every turn!” she argued. 


“Help you?” he echoed.  “I terrified, you Chloe, I dragged you into the desert kicking and screaming---”


“…and forced me to take a good, hard look at the person I was turning into,” she countered.  “As scary as that was, I…I think I needed it.  My life had gotten so horrible.  I was already so overwhelmed, and when Lionel’s people came to take the computers away, I just…snapped.” 


Guilt assuaged Clark’s soul, and he lowered his head.  “You’ve been through so much because you were protecting me, and I’m so sorry,” he said.  “Once I tell Lionel the truth---” 


No,” she said sharply.  “He’s already done the worst he can possibly do to me.  Telling him now won’t make a difference.” 


 “Then I’m going straight to the police to confess,” he said resolutely.  “I’m sorry, Chloe.  But I have to do this.” 


He stepped around her and walked determinedly back towards the station, seeing the distant lights glow brighter as they got closer. 


“How will you save people if you’re on the inside, Clark?” she said, hurrying along behind him again. 


“That’s what the emergency services are there for.”


“And your parents---” 


“Will be fine without me.” 


“But what about me?” she cried, and he stopped and stared at her. 


You?” he whispered. 


Her breath hitched.  “I’ve already lost all my other friends, Clark---”


He stared at her in disbelief.  After everything that had happened…how could she possibly want him around her?


“Chloe, don’t you understand?” he exclaimed.  “I raped you!  You shouldn’t think of me as a friend at all, I’m a monster!”


“If you were a mindless monster, you’d have raped me in that desert, and you didn’t,” she replied flatly.  “You helped me.”  She grabbed onto his sleeves and stared into his eyes.  “You helped me, Clark.” 


“No Chloe, I raped you,” he whispered, his eyes sad as he reluctantly peeled her hands off his sleeves.  “And for that, I deserve to go to prison.  I won’t avoid responsibility for that, Chloe, not even if you ask me.  I’m sorry.”


“Clark, don’t go in there,” she pleaded as he walked on determinedly towards the entrance of the station which was less than six feet away. 


“I have to.”


“You don’t have to do this---”


“Goodbye, Chloe.”  He climbed up the station steps and pulled open the door. 


“If you tell them what you did to me, I’ll tell them what I did to you!” she yelled. 


Clark froze, his hand tightening around the door handle.  “What?” he rasped. 


She swallowed.  “If you tell them you raped me,” she said quietly as she waited at the bottom of the steps, “then I’ll tell them I tried to kill you.” 

***

Chapter 32



Date: 2012-06-16 09:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eternal-moonie.livejournal.com
*Shows You Lurve*

How can I show you lurve with THIS story?

It's a heartbreaking story of Chlark. *sniffle*

Still one FANTASTIC chapter though, honey!

Can't wait to see what happens next!

Date: 2012-06-16 10:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babydee1.livejournal.com
Once again, you're first off the blocks!!! *huggles*

Thanks for commenting, hun! I know it's a sad one, but I'll do my best to make it all better. It may take a while, but we'll get there! :-)

Date: 2012-06-16 12:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] summerstar882.livejournal.com
Such a great chapter! Love how you delicately handled this important conversation. I can't help but feel sorry for the both of them. Courage and determination shown on both their parts while trying to help and save the other despite the wounds they inflicted upon each other. Classic Chlark in a nutshell.

Date: 2012-06-16 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babydee1.livejournal.com
Thanks, Jen! They've seen each other at their worst now; things can only get better, I think.

Glad you like! :-)

Date: 2012-06-16 12:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phantom-queen.livejournal.com
Oh, nice chapter. At first I thought there was no way for Chlark to get back their friendship but I think you've managed to bring them both to a place so the can find their way back.

Date: 2012-06-16 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babydee1.livejournal.com
It's the hardest Chlark journey I've ever had to write, babes. Thanks for your kind comments! :-)

Date: 2012-06-16 01:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] easilyenraged.livejournal.com
Awesome, as always.

Date: 2012-06-16 04:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babydee1.livejournal.com
Thanks, EE - so glad you like it! :-)

Date: 2012-06-16 04:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kitmerlot1213.livejournal.com
Good for Chloe for telling Clark about the deal with Lionel and for encouraging him to get help for his anger and resentment. And I also like that Chloe realizes that Clark doesn't need prison to atone for what he's done but continuing to help people and saving lives is the best form of amendment he can do.

Date: 2012-06-16 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jlvsclrk.livejournal.com
Aha, so we start to see a way out of this. Clark is determined to do the right thing now, but what is the right thing given all the special circumstances. Chloe is right - Clark being in jail just means a lot of Smallville natives, mostly their class mates, are going to die - that's an inescapable fact. And she's doubly right that Clark needs help with his anger issues - but who can be trusted to help him? Can't wait to see where this goes next!

Date: 2012-06-17 04:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silversnikle.livejournal.com
So glad to have Chloe back to her logical self. She's not completely healed, but she's way better!
Amazing chapter!
Thank you for a wonderful update... I cannot wait to see how you "fix" this story. Chlark needs your help.

Date: 2012-06-18 07:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madlenita.livejournal.com
Wow, what a chapter... Chloe is really determined... And i am so glad that there now is no secret between them...

Date: 2012-06-18 07:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babydee1.livejournal.com
She's being objective now, which is a huge step in her recovery. And they're talking again, even though its not like how it was before.

Glad you Maddie!

Date: 2012-06-19 06:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jacques21.livejournal.com
Fantastic update.

I can't figure out who I'm prouder of Chloe or Clark... Chloe for being completely honest about her deal with Lionel, and Clark for trying to do right thing by turning himself in.

Looks like Chloe found a way to keep Clark from turning himself in since her argument didn't work...

Can't wait for more.

Date: 2012-06-23 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mari2anne.livejournal.com
This chapter was amazing. Chloe facing all the things that have troubled her conscience for years and admitting them to Clark. And Clark realizing just how much of a TRUE FRIEND Chloe had ALWAYS been to him... which, of course, makes his guilt about the rape endlessly worse. His understanding of how much of a betrayal his crime against Chloe was just increases his belief that he needs to not only start paying for the crime and get help for himself, but stay out of her life!

But, like 'jlvsclrk' asks, who can be trusted with treating Clark? Who can he really tell the true perfect storm of events that conspired to release the boiling 'issues' he's had inside for years? Can he really be helped if he can't admit everything to someone?

And, a similar question for Chloe... who could she trust? Because it's not just the horror of the physical act, nor just the emotional pain the rape caused, but the betrayal that it was her best friend who raped her that she has to deal with. Is a therapist required to report the crime if Chloe shares that it was her best friend who committed it? If Clark doesn't go to jail, how will either deal with this if they can't get professional help? (I'm thinking more in the timeline of the story, there are no others who know about Clark yet, no Oliver or Dr Swan, with trusted doctors,... but I digress.)

Of course, they have started on their own the very difficult 'self-help' journey, by just talking and facing their demons; usually knowing and/or understanding why the crime was committed is a first step in dealing with one's reaction to it... knowing that you can never undo the past, that it will always be a part of you can be a big step in deciding how it will control your future. And that might be the problem they'll need the most help with, especially if they decide (although I think the decision would be Chloe's) to remain in each others' lives, if Chloe convinces Clark not to turn himself in. Would Chloe ever be able to forgive him? And even though I don't think she has anything to be forgiven for, I know her own self-imposed guilt is almost as enormous as Clark's, will she be able to forgive herself? (Maybe you're going to send him off to the Fortress to start his training, so Chloe won't have to face him every day...?)

Did I mention that you are queen of the evol cliffies...?

Because now that my RL has gotten a little back to normal (hubby is finally getting better, after an unbelievable amount of set-backs that near drove us both crazy) and I've had time to catch up on all the amazing chapters in this story.... I'm CAUGHT UP... THERE'S NO NEXT CHAPTER!!! and it's your amazing writing that has me begging for more.... PLEASE. Selfish, aren't I?

Oh, I just thought of another question... will Chloe's father be told the truth?

okay... that's all, I'm done babbling.... I must move on to housework, etc... and then I just checked your list of fanfics and I do believe there is a CHLARK story that I've not read!!! ...and I owe Leanne some lurve on a story I've also gotten behind on...

p.s. Thanks so much, Dee, for continuing this amazing story; I know how difficult it's been to write!

Date: 2012-07-08 11:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] babydee1.livejournal.com
Omigosh, I have so many amazing reviews to respond to, and so little time!!!

I'll come back to this fantastic offering sometime soon, Mari - RL has been so crazy, I've barely been able to get on my computer this week. Thanks so much for your review, so glad you're all caught up and that you like it!

Hope all is well on the homefront. *cuddles* :-)

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