Chlark Fanfic: Crisis, Chapter 30

[babydee1]

How long has it been since I worked on this one...three months?  Eep.  :-/  Good thing it's a nice, long chapter then, in which there's a good deal of much-needed introspection from our two protagonists.  And, as promised, the worst is most definitely over.  

But enough of my waffling.  Here's the next chapter of Crisis, hopefully the first of at least five in *fairly* quick succession, give or take a few other updates in between. 

Enjoy, and please heed the warnings if they apply to you.  Many thanks. 

Title:              Crisis 
Author:          BabyDee 
Pairing:          Chlark/Kaloe 
Rating:           NC-17 for disturbing themes 
Warnings: ***Angst, mentions of attempted suicide***  
Timeline:      Season 2-3 (Exodus – Exile; Clark’s RedK Summer & beyond) 
Disclaimer:   All characters belong to the CW & DC comics 
Summary:     A violent encounter between Chloe and Clark threatens to destroy their friendship forever. 
Feedback:      …would be appreciated. :) 

***please heed the warnings above, as it may be triggering for some*** 

Read previous chapter here. 
Read story from the beginning here. 

Chapter 30

It was the longest two minutes of her life.

Chloe gritted her teeth and held herself as still as possible all the way back to Kansas.  From the sound of the wind rushing through her ears she must be moving faster than she ever had in all her years, but having to endure Clark’s arms around her made her rigid with fear, and made the journey seem to stretch on endlessly.

After what felt like an age, the world stopped whooshing around her and all was still.  She opened her eyes as Clark lowered her feet to the ground, and upon finding herself back in The Torch she immediately put a good amount of distance between them by scampering into the furthermost corner of the room. 

She wrapped her arms around herself and watched cautiously as he slowly took the lead box with the green kryptonite out of his pocket, and placed it on the floor in the middle of the room.  He paused closed his eyes, and she could see him mentally counting to ten before pulling the glowing red ring off his finger and placing it in the centre of her mock-up board. 

The glowing stone dulled as he backed away, and the change in his demeanour was immediate.  All the aggression was gone, replaced with an expression of stark loss and grief.  His shouldered were slumped in defeat, as if he had nothing more to give.

“I’m turning myself in,” he said quietly, and her brows rose in surprise. 

“I’m going to the Farm first to say goodbye to my parents, then I’m heading straight to Sherriff Adams to confess what I did.  This…situation between us has gotten out of hand, and if I don’t do this now, one of us is going to take a step too far.  We both already have…but at least it’s not too late.” 

Chloe stared at him, her brow furrowing in confusion.  She hadn’t known how this night was going to end, but Clark handing himself in hadn’t even crossed her mind.  She glanced at the box on the floor, then her gaze darted to the ring on the table and then to the man standing in the centre of the room.    

“Could – could you make sure Matt gets his ring back?” he asked quietly, and she nodded. 

“Thank you.”  He turned to leave, but stopped and faced her one last time.

“I’m sorry for everything I did to you, and everything it’s led you to do,” he whispered.  “I’m so sorry.  I hope in time you’ll be able to forgive me.  I know I have no right to ask anything of you, but promise me you’ll get help; talk to someone about what happened.” 

She swallowed, still unable to find her voice. 

He continued.  “Once I turn myself in, the police will probably contact you and put you in touch with a therapist,” he said.  “Please don’t turn them away, Chloe.  Talk to someone; it’ll help you heal.” 

And then he was gone.  All that remained was a rush of wind which left The Torch door swinging on its hinges. 

Chloe sat down on the floor in a daze.  She automatically reached for the lead box – and then hesitated, pulling her hand back slowly as her mind started to process everything that had transpired that afternoon. 

Clark could have killed her today.  Given the fact that she’d very nearly succeeded in killing him this afternoon, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d wanted to.  And in the darkest recesses of her mind, she could admit to herself that she’d probably wanted him to.  Her life had become so bleak that a part of her had welcomed the idea of death as the easiest release from the constant pain; but taking one’s own life was never easy, and that was where Clark had come in.  Deep down she’d known that if she pushed hard enough, she would enrage him to the point of retribution. 

And she had.  When he’d shown up in The Torch with wildness in his eyes and rage radiating off of him in waves, she’d thought surely she wouldn’t live to see another day. 

He could have hurt her, quite easily.  He could have raped, tortured and killed her and she would have been powerless to stop him.  And yet…he hadn’t harmed her, at all.  Quite the contrary; he’d tried to help her, even though he’d literally had to drag her into the desert kicking and screaming to do it.

A deep sigh escaped her and she wrapped her arms around her knees.  She was loathe to admit it, but Clark had actually helped her.  The raw, lacerating pain that had torn at her since the day she’d been raped was now reduced to a dull ache, and she no longer felt as hopeless and suicidal as she had in the afternoon, when she’d held that rock to her wrist in the desert.  In fact, she now felt utterly ashamed that she could ever sink so low as to actively attempt to end a life; hers or Clark’s. 

She frowned, her brows drawing together in a deep furrow.  Oh, there was denying he’d done a disgusting thing to her, that would never go away; but she had to admit that ever since that day (minus this afternoon), he’d treated her with nothing but extreme tenderness and patience; even when she’d tortured him at will.   Even whilst under the influence of the only substance on earth that affected him like a drug, he hadn’t physically hurt her.  She wasn’t afraid of him anymore.    

Her eyes widened in sudden realisation.  She wasn’t scared of him anymore.  She wasn’t sure if that had been his intention when he’d abducted her and forced her to come face to face with him again at his very worst…but it had worked.  She’d goaded him until he’d snapped, but he hadn’t hurt her; he’d helped her. 

And he was now on his way to turn himself in. 

She sat up with a start, then scrambled to her feet.  Quickly she picked up her lead box and stuffed it in her pocket, then headed out of the Torch, stopping only to lock the door.  Then she tore off out of the building and down the road, running as fast as she could in the direction of Smallville Police Station.

***

Jonathan only ever turned his back on her when he was angry.  And right now, he was furious. 

Martha Kent waited with her heart in her mouth as her husband took in what she’d just told him.  The harsh set of his shoulders and the clenched fists at his side told her she was in for a serious grilling. 

When he finally spoke, his voice was thunderous.

“How the hell could you have kept this a secret from me, Martha?” he grated, turning to face her.  “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

She swallowed hard.  “I’m sorry, Jonathan.  I was going to tell you, I really was; but I thought---”

“Thought what?  That a seventeen-year old boy was the ideal person to decide the right kind of therapy for a victim of rape?” he bellowed, pacing angrily.  “My God, they could be killing each other right now!”

“I know that now, I know!” she cried, tears streaming down her face.  “But yelling at me isn’t going to help, is it?” 

Jonathan sighed and stopped pacing.  Lamely he held out his arms to his wife in a meek offer of comfort. 

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, burrowing his face into her hair as she walked into his arms.  “I’m sorry, Martha.  I’m just so worried…for both of them.” 

“Me too,” she sniffed, and stared up at him fearfully.  “You don’t think that Clark would…?” she couldn’t complete the sentence, but Jonathan had no trouble understanding her.   

He squeezed his eyes shut, and she could feel him tense up under her fingers.  “Dear God, I hope not.  But if she’s done what you’re speculating, and he got angry enough…”

Just them the screen door opened, and Clark walked into the room, covered in dust from head to toe. 

“Oh my God, you’re alright!” Martha exclaimed, running towards him and enveloping him in a big hug, which he didn’t return.  Now that she knew he was alive and well the practical side of her brain came back online, and her blood ran cold as she stepped out of his arms and registered his dishevelled appearance. 

“Clark - where’s Chloe, is she okay?” she asked fearfully.  “Where have you been?” 

“She’s at the Torch---”

“Don’t lie to us, son,” Jonathan said gravely.  “We know you weren’t there because we checked.  Found your cell there; Chloe’s too.  Her Dad’s been on the phone to us, and he’s worried sick that something’s happened to her.  So tell us the truth, Clark.  What have you done?”

Clark shook his head.  “Nothing, Dad, we just…just talked.”

“In a quarry?” Jonathan asked, waving his hands at Clark’s dusty clothing.  “You’re covered in dirt, Clark.  Where did you take Chloe?”

Clark swallowed.  “To the desert,” he finally replied.  “But I only wanted to talk to her in private.”

“Really?” Jonathan challenged.  “If all you did was talk, then how the hell did you end up looking like that?” 

Clark hung his head.  “It’s a long story.”

“Well, I’m all ears!”

“Jonathan, let him speak,” Martha begged, but her plea fell on deaf ears. 

“What did you do to Chloe?” he shouted, and Martha began trembling at the horrible images that flitted through her mind.  “The truth, Clark!  Now!” 

“I told you, I took her to the desert because we needed to talk about…stuff.” 

“Like the fact that she’s been torturing you every other week, and she actually tried to kill you tonight; that kind of stuff, correct?” Jonathan pressed, and Clark lowered his head again. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well tough shit, because you’re going to!” Jonathan exploded, making her jump in shock.  “Your mother tells me you offered yourself to be Chloe’s personal lab rat, to torture you whenever she feels like.  What the hell kind of solution did you think that was?” 

“She’s scared of me, Dad!”

“And you thought torture was the solution to curbing her fear?  My God, Clark, she tried to kill you!”

“She tried to kill herself,” he whispered, and an eerie hush descended in the room. 

“What?” Martha whispered, her hands shaking. 

“When I took her, she…she thought I was going to hurt her again, so she tried to harm herself,” he said softly.  “I stopped her and she was struggling to get away from me.  That’s how I got like this.” 

Martha shook her head.  “Clark, ever since…what happened, you’ve been nothing but supportive towards Chloe; why would she think you’d tried to hurt her again?”

She saw his eyes cloud over before he lowered his gaze to the ground.  “Because I gave her reason to,” he whispered.  “I…I put on a redK ring and confiscated the green kryptonite I gave her.” 

“Oh, my God,” Martha moaned, her head in her hands as tears fell down her face.  “Clark, how could you do that to her?”

“I needed to show her that I’m not a monster!” he cried.  “And that she doesn’t need to be afraid of me, even if I’m under the influence.” 

“But you didn’t know that for sure, though, did you?” Jonathan accused.  “And you know what that stuff does to you, what it made you do the last time…” He stopped and exhaled roughly, shaking his head.  “My God, you must have scared the life out of her.”

“I did,” he replied.  “And because she’ll always be afraid of me, I’ve made the decision to own up to my actions.  I’m…I’m turning myself in.  Tonight.” 

Mirroring expressions of shock crossed hers and Jonathan’s faces. 

“Tonight?” they echoed, and Martha immediately shook her head. 

“No.  You’ve had a lot of shocks today, Clark, you’re not in the right frame of mind to make that kind of decision,” she babbled.  “We’ll take care of this tomorrow.  If you want to go to the station, we’ll accompany you---”

“No,” he insisted firmly.  “I have to do this alone, Mom, and I’ve made up my mind.  I’m going to the station tonight.  I just wanted to say goodbye to you before I left.”

“Oh Clark,” Martha sobbed brokenly.  “Don’t leave like this, please.” 

“I have to,” he whispered.  “It’s for the best, Mom, for everyone.”  

“Your mother’s right, son,” Jonathan said desperately.  “One more night won’t hurt.  We need to talk about this---”

“I’m sorry,” he said simply.  Martha saw her husband’s shoulders slump in defeat at Clark’s decisive tone.  She stared brokenly as their son walked over and wrapped his arms around both of them, and she sobbed into his t-shirt as he hugged them tight. 

“Please don’t feel upset or responsible about any of this,” he said quietly.  “I made this mess myself, and I’m going to clean it up.  I’ve told Chloe to get help, so that she doesn’t try to harm herself or someone else again.” 

His arms loosened as he stepped back, and Jonathan nodded. 

“As much as I don’t want to say goodbye to you son, I understand and respect your decision,” Jonathan said gravely, tears in his eyes as he squeezed his son’s shoulder hard.  “You’re trying to do the right thing.  If there’s anything we can do…”

“I’ll be fine,” he replied.  “I love you both so much, and I’m so sorry I’ve let you down.” 

***

Saying goodbye to his parents was the hardest thing he’d ever done.  His mother had cried as he got his things in order; she’d begged and pleaded with him to wait until tomorrow; but the die was cast.  He knew that if he’d waited another day, he wouldn’t be strong enough to do what needed to be done.  So he’d bid them a tearful farewell, and set off down the dark, lonely road to justice. 

He should have done this months ago, when he’d returned from Metropolis with his father.  It had been most unfair of him to try and continue on as normal when the girl he’d raped had to see him every day and live with the knowledge of what he’d done to her.  As much as he’d tried his best to make things up to her afterward, it was clear now that what she was needed professional help.  Like him, she’d been trying to deal with things on her own, and without the lack of support her breakdown had been inevitable.  Maybe once he was out of the way, things would be easier for her. 

He turned the corner and sighed deeply as the lights of the station came into view in the distance.  He trudged along slowly, knowing this was the last time he would be a free man for a long time and subconsciously tried to stretch the journey out as long as possible.  But the road was only so long; fifty, probably sixty more steps to go until he surrendered his freedom. 

It wasn’t long before he was just mere metres away from the station entrance.  His hands shook and his heart plummeted in his chest, but he walked bravely on, determined to see this through for everyone’s sake. 

Then a sudden movement caught his eye; someone was perched in the shadows on the corner of the stairs.  As he stepped forward, the person turned to face him and he froze, his eyes widening in surprise. 

“Chloe?” he whispered. 

She was sitting there on the steps of the Police Station, waiting for him.

***

To be continued…

Comments

[iluvaqt.livejournal.com]

Heart was beating about a mile a minute even though I knew he was making the right decision, I was worried for him. Worried for what would happen in prison, if he'd be confronted and his secret would come out, what that would mean, who's attention it would get.

I'm glad Chloe realized what he was trying to do for her in the desert and went to protect him in the end. It doesn't mean he's forgiven or that everything's forgotten. They've got a long road ahead. But at least she knows he really cares for her, and in turn, she's realized that she still cares about him too.

[kitmerlot1213.livejournal.com]

an excellent chapter!

Clark and Chloe are finally on the road to healing and Clark's being so damn mature that I'm quite proud of him.

Continued lovely work on this fic :)

[jacques21.livejournal.com]

Perfect update.

I actually had to stop reading and change tabs when I got to the part where Clark told Chloe he was turning himself in...

I didn't think that Clark putting on the red-k ring and taking Chloe to the desert helped any but it looks like it did... Chloe finally realized that she was teetering on a dangerous path and now she completely knows she's no longer afraid of Clark or Kal.

I am proud that Clark is willing to turn himself in. I wonder what his reaction will be to finding Chloe waiting for him at the police station.

Oh ho Papa Kent was pissed.

Can't wait for more.

[madlenita.livejournal.com]

Yes, thanks for this chapter, finally Chloe is felling better!!!! And the whole scene Clark/his parents... just amazing... Thanks again and i can;t wait for next chapter. . .

[babydee1.livejournal.com]

"Yes, thanks for this chapter, finally Chloe is felling better!!!"

Well, she's far from 'better', but at least she's turned a corner. :-)

"And the whole scene Clark/his parents... just amazing... Thanks again and i can;t wait for next chapter. . ."

Glad you like, Maddie, and sorry for the wait! :-)

[eternal-moonie.livejournal.com]

Chapter 30... CHAPTER 30?!

Another thing that shows how more talented you are than me.

Well done Evil Cliffy Queen!!!!!

[easilyenraged.livejournal.com]

Awesome chapter as well as chapter 29 which I missed somehow when you posted it.

[silversnikle.livejournal.com]

Aw. Yay for Chloe finally facing things enough to at least realize she's no longer afraid. Whew.

Clark... That boy, I'm proud that he was mature enough to turn himself in, and knew that he couldn't wait.

I really felt bad for Martha there, but I understand Jonathan's anger. It was a pretty stupid decision on her part to think these young kids could solve such serious issues on their own. In the end, it seems they may be finding a way to work through it all, but some adult help may have been an easier path.

Whatever Chloe says to Clark now, I hope he understands that he can't just put this behind them. It's always going to be there, somewhere.

*applause*

[jlvsclrk.livejournal.com]

Oh snap, you made me cry. That was just so good. I'm glad to see Clark doing the right thing (even though there are special circumstances that make it ever so dangerous to him to do so.) And I'm even gladder to see that Chloe has worked through the worst of her fear. Clark's plan might not have been the best, but it worked.

[babydee1.livejournal.com]

"Clark's plan might not have been the best, but it worked."

It was a really, really risky move, but it did the job at the end of the day. The only way now is up, thankfully.

Glad you like, Jen!

[christina-kat.livejournal.com]

that was an amazing chapter. Chloe is not afraid of Clark any more. That's a huge improvement. I love it :)

[babydee1.livejournal.com]

Thanks, CK! Missed you loads, hope things are improving in your lovely country! *huggles*

[greenlady2.livejournal.com]

I hope he spends some serious time in prison. I'm not sorry for him or worried about him. He deserves punishment, not pity. And what's Chloe doing there, offering support to her rapist?

ETA: Sorry for blowing up like that. Really. I know that you're punishing Clark in this story and not letting him off the hook. It's just that I've been involved in discussions over another story in which I and some other people believe that Clark raped someone, but other people deny it, because 'Clark would never do that!' And I guess I'm getting a bit fed up with the whole subject. I probably shouldn't have checked back and read this chapter. Take care.

[babydee1.livejournal.com]

Jen!!! where have you been?!? *cuddles*

No worries, I understand that this is a very sensitive subject matter to deal with in fiction and can be very contentious no matter how well or poorly executed. Feel free to speak your mind, anytime!

"I hope he spends some serious time in prison. I'm not sorry for him or worried about him. He deserves punishment, not pity. And what's Chloe doing there, offering support to her rapist?"

It'll all be explained in the next chapter. At least, I'll do my best to explain it, and make it plausible. :-)

" I know that you're punishing Clark in this story and not letting him off the hook."

Oh, thank you for acknowledging that! I do try to make it clear that there's no easy let-off for Clark in this story, and that even though there were many variables in the circumstances of the attack, the responsibility for it does indeed lie with Clark.

"I've been involved in discussions over another story in which I and some other people believe that Clark raped someone, but other people deny it, because 'Clark would never do that!'"

Hmmm. I'm a believer of the premise that we never know what we're capable of until we're pushed to the wall amidst a set of enabling circumstances. Nothing's ever truly black & white or cut & dried, is it?

"And I guess I'm getting a bit fed up with the whole subject. I probably shouldn't have checked back and read this chapter."

Again, feel free to speak your mind, hun; it's that kind of story! :-)

"Take care."

You too! *hugs*

[greenlady2.livejournal.com]

"Jen!!! where have you been?!? *cuddles*"

Mostly not in SV fandom. :-)

Thanks for the cuddle. I'm so relieved you weren't offended by my remarks. I know you're pretty sensible, but people in fandom can lose it at times, as I know all too well. :-)

"...I'm a believer of the premise that we never know what we're capable of until we're pushed to the wall amidst a set of enabling circumstances."

Exactly. That's one of the things that worried me so much about Clark on SV. He got so much of that 'enabling', and he had the power to do whatever he wanted, and he often did just that. I simply can't believe that putting on the costume would make everything okay in the end.

Sorry, that's another rant. :-)

I've been writing my own 'rape' story in response to the one that upset me, and so I know how difficult it is to write about this subject. That's probably another reason why I kind of lost it when I read this chapter. I think what makes rape so horrible is that it's an extreme violation and invasion of a person's body, that makes them realize how completely vulnerable they are.

*Hugs* back.

[babydee1.livejournal.com]

"Mostly not in SV fandom. :-)"

All the better for your health! :-D

"Thanks for the cuddle. I'm so relieved you weren't offended by my remarks."

Not at all! It's impossible to write about something as serious as rape and not expect honesty. I appreciate you speaking your thoughts. :-)

"I know you're pretty sensible, but people in fandom can lose it at times, as I know all too well. :-)"

*grins* Especially in Smallville fandom! :-P

"Exactly. That's one of the things that worried me so much about Clark on SV. He got so much of that 'enabling', and he had the power to do whatever he wanted, and he often did just that. I simply can't believe that putting on the costume would make everything okay in the end."

Sorry, that's another rant. :-)

A very valid one. Season 10 and the Finale in general were a pile of crap when it came to Clark turning into Superman. Had to be dragged into his 'destiny' kicking and screaming, and he still never accounted for all the sh*t things he did. Terrible, terrible writing.

"I've been writing my own 'rape' story in response to the one that upset me, and so I know how difficult it is to write about this subject. That's probably another reason why I kind of lost it when I read this chapter. I think what makes rape so horrible is that it's an extreme violation and invasion of a person's body, that makes them realize how completely vulnerable they are."

Indeed, and it's not something I would ever take lightly, not even in fanfic.

"*Hugs* back."

*cuddles*

[sheliana.livejournal.com]

I support Clark's decision to turn himself in. Not only is it probably the only thing that would get Chloe stop being afraid of him, it's also basically the only appropriate penance for what he'd done. It's admirable, and I'm glad to see Clark owning up to his mistakes (although the word "mistake" is too weak in this case). In any case, I really like Clark's character development in this story.

Chloe's is excellent, too. I imagine she would still be very apprehensive about Clark, and it'd take a hell of long road for them to walk to mend their friendship. But there's finally hope. I'm anxious and eager to see what Chloe is going to tell Clark, and how they're going to interact in the future.

I'm not sure about Jonathan's characterization, though. I totally bought his anger at both Clark and Martha. And although I dislike canon!Jonathan, I admit that he's an honorable man (for the most part) who believes in taking responsibility for what you do. But it always seemed to me, and I'm not saying this to disparage Jonathan, that all of his principles and beliefs went out the window when Clark's safety was on the line. He demanded that Clark return all the things he had stolen when he'd been on his Red K binge, but that would not have jeopardized Clark's secret. It just seemed to me that Clark's safety and his secret was an all-time absolute priority for Jonathan, and nothing ever topped that. He always seemed more concerned about someone accidentally seeing Clark's powers than about the people Clark was saving. He and Martha never bothered to inform the Smallville community about the danger of the meteor rocks even though they knew about them more than anyone else, because that m шпре have put Clark into the spotlight. Which is why I'm not sure Jonathan would encourage Clark to turn himself in. Clark's secret would definitely come out in prison, and frankly, I think Jonathan would be sad and angry over what happened to Chloe, and he would truly be angry with Clark, but I don't believe he would ever put Chloe over his son's life.

That said, this is a great chapter, and I'm really looking forw3ard for more. After all, characters are often more admirable and worthy of respect than they are in canon, and I wouldn't take it any other way.

[sheliana.livejournal.com]

Eh, you know, I take it back.Most of the fics I love feature a Jonathan and Martha that are noble,brave,and always willing to do the right thing, unlike thosein canon. So I admire your take on Jonathan.:)

[babydee1.livejournal.com]

Harsh, Sheliana! But true; canon!Jonathan was all 'protect the secret' and not much else. I think te only reason he let Clark go to the.police station was the fact that Clark had again subjected Chloe to the terror of seeing him on redK, and he's worried that.Clark might try it again.

He'll be having a very emotional journey in this fic, that's for sure. Thanks for the vote of confidence! :-)

[chloista4ever.livejournal.com]

Clark's decision to turn himself in,is the right thing to do. The Clark/Chloe confrontation had me on the end of my seat! Excellent work Dee as always!

[babydee1.livejournal.com]

Many thanks, Ana! At least they're no longer trying to hurt each other; that's serious progress. :-)

Glad you liked it!

[mari2anne.livejournal.com]

Okay, I had to read through this one twice as the first time got a little blurry... stuff in my eyes, I'm sure. Damn, you sure know how to bring out the emotions, Dee... especially as I mentioned in a previous post, a crime like this has the power to destroy not just the perpetrator and victim but their entire families. And you so clearly showed how the helplessness and anger was coming to the surface. And no matter how much the Kents want to protect their son, even they have come to face that what they have (or haven't) done so far has not helped Chloe or Clark. Trying to move on and hope time alone would get them past this certainly was NOT solving anything.

I thought it was also smart of Clark (FINALLY) to realize that Chloe seeing him every day go on with life as if nothing had happened was the most unhealthy thing for her sanity.

And, now, Chloe shows up.... hmmmm??? I can only imagine she is going to try to stop him from going to jail...???
Okay, I won't even speculate or ask all the questions about if this will just bring them back to where they were (especailly if Chloe does not seek therapy) or how else will Clark pay for his crime? (....maybe spend some time in therapy himself on how to help victims of such crimes and dedicate his life to helping them....)... okay, okay,,, I said I wouldn't speculate... I'll just mosey on over to the next chapter... maybe some of the questions are already answered....

... this might be starting to bore you, but, once again: EXCELLENT CHAPTER, Dee!!!!