Chlark Fanfic: Agenda, Chapter 21

[babydee1]

Runner by sylvanelfmistre. 

Title:              Agenda
Author:          babydee1
Pairing:          Chlark
Rating:           NC-17 (mostly PG-13)
Warnings:     Moping & Angst. *eyeroll*
Timeline:      Futurefic; follows Season 8’s Injustice & Failsday Doomsday 
Disclaimer:   All known characters belong to the CW & DC comics. 
Summary:     More than a decade after the Doomsday Rampage, Clark makes a shocking discovery that changes his life forever. 
Feedback:      …makes me squee. :-) 
 
Written for the 2011 smallvillebbang  long Fanfic challenge.  Many thanks to twinsarein  for all her tireless organisation and support!
 
Beta’ed by legendarytobes & The Fallen Sky at KSite.
Art by sylvanelfmistre & go_clo.
 
 
Read previous chapter here.
Read story from the beginning here.
 
Chapter 21
 
As soon as they arrived back at home Clark headed straight for the shower.   The door closed behind him with an ominous thunk, and the room was eerily quiet sans the ticking of the clock breaking the silence.
 
Chloe stood in the middle of the den and shivered lightly, suddenly feeling the cold from the arctic trip she’d just returned from.  She pulled the edges of her robe closer together and stared starkly at nothing in particular.
 
“Mom?” she heard her daughter say, and lifted her eyes in response.
 
“I’m sorry I scared you,” Gabby said, taking her hand.  “I didn’t mean to be gone so long, and I didn’t even know exactly where I was going…and I was already on my way back home, almost---”
 
“It’s okay, Gabby,” she said squeezing her hand.  “It’s fine.” 
 
“Are you sure?” Gabby asked, looking her over curiously.  “You don’t look too great.  Did you and Dad have a fight?”
 
She gulped.  “We, um…look, you need to get ready for school and I should start preparing for work---”
 
Gabby regarded her with an odd look.  “It’s Saturday, Mom.”
 
“Huh?” she blinked, and then forced a smile.  “Oh yeah, so it is.  Well, um…do you want some breakfast?  I’ll do you a Full English, you haven’t had that since we left Gotham.” 
 
Gabby’s raised brows and wry expression that told her she wasn’t buying her bullshit deflection, but she sat at the table anyway.  Chloe busied herself with frying the eggs, bacon and sausages, willing Gabby to be quiet and cease her questioning for now.
 
For once, the gods were on her side.  Her daughter sat silently, which gave Chloe her time to reflect on the events of the morning. 
 
She’d crossed a line.  Heck, she erased the line and put up a freaking brick wall with a razor-wired edge.  Everything she’d said to Clark came flooding back, and with each harsh word the horror and self-loathing grew within her.
 
This is exactly why I didn’t want to bring her to you, Clark.  
 
 I bring her to you, and three months later she disappears.  Fat lot of good having a father has been to her…
 
We should have stayed in Gotham.
 
You were too weak and indecisive to make the right decisions.   
 
If you want to hate me for being the strong one, then go ahead.  I really don’t care how you feel.
 
I really don’t care how you feel...
 
She’d seen the pain in his eyes, but she hadn’t stopped.  On and on she’d gone, twisting the knife deeper in his heart.  And now…
 
“Mom?”
 
…now it was over.  All over.
 
“Mom, you’re burning it!”
 
She blinked and stared stupidly.  “Huh?”
 
Gabby rushed around to the cooker and shut off the gas, and then blew gently over the blazing pan.  Only then did Chloe realise with a start that her frying pan was on fire. 
 
But Gabby had matters in hand.  Within seconds the fire was extinguished by Gabby’s breath and to Chloe’s surprise, there were ice crystals forming on the crispy bacon and the remains of the burnt sausages. 
 
“Gabby,” she said dimly, “…do you have a…a cold, or something?”
 
She shook her head.  “No, I feel fine.” 
 
Chloe’s eyes narrowed.  “Is this a side effect of your arctic journey?” she asked suspiciously.  “Did Jor-El do this to you?” 
 
“No, Mom, it’s one of my abilities,” she explained.  “Dad does it, too.”
 
“Oh, she said soberly.  “I didn’t know that one.”  There was so she didn’t know, so much she’d missed in those few weeks away…
 
…and she could suddenly see and feel exactly how robbed Clark had been of his daughter’s childhood.  Here she was, getting emotional because she missed just one of her Gabby’s milestones.  Clark, on the other hand, had missed hundreds of them.
 
And she’d told him she didn’t care.
 
Her eyes stung with the tears that rapidly welled up in them, and she quickly blinked them away.    
 
“Sorry about your breakfast, honey,” she said reaching for the frying pan.  “I’ll just toss this out and make another batch---”
 
“No, its okay, Mom - I’ve decided on cereal,” she said hurriedly, grabbing a box of Coco Pops off the shelf.  “After this morning’s run, I need to replenish my sugar anyway.”
 
Chloe looked doubtful.  “Are you sure?”
 
“Mmm-hmm.”  She grabbed the milk out of the fridge and poured it all over her cereal.  “You should take a bath before I hop in there and hog all the hot water,” Gabby advised.  “You know how long I take.”
 
Chloe nodded.  “I will, I’m…just waiting for your father to finish in there.”
 
Gabby frowned.  “He’s out, Mom.” 
 
“He’s what?”
 
“He’s out of the bathroom,” she explained.  “And out of the house.  He dressed and left a while ago.” 
 
“Oh.  I guess duty calls, huh?” Chloe said with a forced smile, which Gabby wasn’t buying.
 
“I wouldn’t think so,” her daughter said quietly. 
 
Chloe swallowed and turned away, unable to answer the challenge in her child’s eyes.  She walked unsteadily to the bathroom and closed the door, locking it behind her.  Then she hung her robe on the hook and stepped into the shower, turning the knob with shaky hands. 
 
As soon as the water began to fall Chloe erupted into sobs, covering her mouth with her hands to try to stifle her noises.  It was probably pointless; Gabby’s super-hearing was even stronger than her father’s.  Still, the fact that her daughter could most likely hear her crying did nothing to stop the tears streaming down her face. 
 
Clark was gone.  And after all the hurtful things she had said to him, Chloe knew he wasn’t ever going to return to her. 
 
She’d lost him forever. 
 
***
 
The world always looked so peaceful from up here.
 
Clark sat high on the slopes of the Sierra Nevada Mountain range on a cool California morning.  The sky was still dark, but there was a thin sliver of light on the horizon heralding the day.  The sun would rise in another half hour or so, as Clark had observed for the last six mornings. 
 
It was a thing of wonder, how life could suddenly change direction.   A week ago, he had everything he’d ever wanted; a beautiful daughter and the love of the woman who had always had his heart, who he had loved and lost but never forgotten.  But all it had taken for everything to change was one heated argument.   
 
Going about his daily routine was painful, made worse by the fact that he and Chloe worked not only in the same building, but also on the same floor.  They’d avoided each other studiously all week, but many times he had lifted his gaze to see her blonde head on the other side of the room, caught her eye and quickly turned away.  As for taking the elevator, that had been an absolute nightmare.  Every time he’d gone in, pressed the button and held his breath, never knowing if the doors would open to reveal her on the other side. It had never happened, but that was probably because he had given up on taking the damn thing altogether and taken the stairs. 
 
He noticed that she had taken to working late, so he’d used the opportunity to finish early and spend the time with Gabby at home.   He tried to keep things as normal as possible for her sake, but she was no fool.  She hadn’t questioned him about anything, but he could see from the look in her eyes that she knew something was wrong.  
 
Of course, once Chloe arrived back from work he always made a hasty exit, using the ever present excuse of someone being in danger and needing Superman’s help.  Help that kept him out of the house until the next morning, whereupon he’d quickly shower, dress and go to work.  Thus began the same awkward, stilted day all over again. 
 
He sighed and focused on the horizon.  Yes, change only took a second.  Last week, he’d had his family all together, and life couldn’t have been any sweeter.    Now he was sitting alone on the top of a mountain at the crack of dawn, with only his thoughts for company.
 
Or so he thought. 
 
“Room for one more?”
 
Clark smiled at the sound of his daughter’s voice.  He’d been so engrossed in thought he hadn’t even heard her approach.  He glanced up at her and patted the spot beside him, which she quickly occupied.  She snuggled into his side like a baby penguin and he put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her, feeling emotional.  At least he hadn’t lost everything. 
 
They sat in silence for several seconds, watching as the skyline began to lighten with a pinkish tint. 
 
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for school?” he asked with a frown.
 
She shook her head against his shoulder.  “Saturday morning, Dad,” she replied in a dry voice, and he could literally feel the accompanying eyeroll as she said so. 
 
“Oh.  Right.  Sorry, I…guess I forgot what day it was.” 
 
She chuckled.  “Don’t worry; you wouldn’t be the first to.” 
 
The sky brightened even more and birds began to twitter in the trees behind them. 
 
Gabby reached out and picked a flower and smiled.  “Nice place you got here,” she chirped as she twirled the bloom between her fingers. 
 
He smiled wryly.  “I guess you’re wondering why I’m not out patrolling like I said I’d be,” he said. 
 
“We all need a break every once in a while, even Superman,” she responded lightly.  “And it’s beautiful up here.” 
 
“I grew up on a farm in Smallville as you know, and I had a view of the sunset from my loft,” he said distantly.  “It always looked so tragically beautiful; y’know, blazing its brightest right before it disappears from sight.”  Kind of like my life, he thought with a touch of irony.    
 
“That may well be true, but the sun always rises again, Dad,” she said softly.  “Everyday, without fail.  It’s the best symbol of hope our world has.”  She grinned.  “Maybe that’s why Grandfather called me Kyana.” 
 
Clark smiled as her words coincided with the emergence of the sun over the horizon.  “Dawn,” he said in awe.  “The birth of a new day; an opportunity for a new beginning on a clean slate.”
 
She nodded.  “Exactly.” 
 
He swallowed and asked the question that had been at the forefront of his mind for the last seven days.  “How’s your mother?”
 
She chuckled.  “A mirror-image of you, actually; distracted, sullen, long-faced, mopey and miserable.”
 
He sighed.  “I see.”
 
She gave him a sad smile.  “I don’t know the details, but it’s obvious you two had a fight the day I went to the Fortress.”
 
He nodded; he owed his daughter the truth.  “Yeah, we did.” 
 
“Was it…because of me?” she asked hesitantly, and he quickly shook his head. 
 
“No, not at all, honey; you didn’t do anything wrong,” he insisted.  “Don’t ever think like any of this was your fault, Gabby.  You’re mother and I did this all by ourselves.”  He gave a short laugh.  “Fourteen years, and we’re still experts at pushing the self-destruct button on ourselves.”    
 
Gabby patted his arm in sympathy.  “I figured the two of you needed a little space, emphasis on the little,” she said softly.  “But it’s been a week, Dad.  Why haven’t you come home, like properly?”
 
He sighed and stared miserably at the ground.  “I don’t know if I can.” 
 
“Why not?” she asked.  “It’s your home.  What happened between you two that morning that was so bad, neither of you are even bothering to try and fix it?”
 
He took a deep breath and began.  “Gabby, when we woke up, we…” he paused and regarded her expectant expression, and quickly decided that his daughter didn’t need to know everything that had gone on that morning. 
 
“Shortly after we woke up, we realised that you’d gone running without your cell, and your Mom panicked.  I tried to calm her down, but she was agitated, and she said some things that upset me.”
 
Gabby tilted her head.  “What did she say?”
 
His lips thinned.  “That she wished she’d never brought you to me.”
 
She winced.  “Uh-oh.” 
 
“She didn’t mean it,” he said quickly.  “She was worried and lashing out, and I knew that; but her words cut me deep.  I should have stayed calm, but I didn’t.  Instead I said some things to her…things that I shouldn’t have said, and now I can’t take them back.” 
 
“What did you say, Dad?” she asked, resting a hand on his arm. 
 
He hung his head and took a deep breath.  “I accused her of stealing you from me,” he replied.  “I said it was the worst thing she had ever done, and…I implied that I hated her for it.” 
 
Gabby’s face fell.  “Oh, Dad…”
 
“I don’t know why I said that,” he said helplessly.  “I love your mother, so much; but after that…” he sighed, and when he spoke again his voice was heavy with regret.  “I don’t think she’ll ever want to see me again.” 
 
“Dad, I know you don’t hate Mom, but it’s only natural that you’d harbour some resentment at having been…well, lied to for so many years,” she said.  “I mean, have you and Mom ever really talked about how you felt about suddenly having to adjust to the knowledge that you have a teenage daughter that was denied to you all her life?” 
 
“Well…not exactly,” he admitted, realising that they had discussed almost everything else…Gabby’s early years, their professional and personal lives, even their past relationships.  But never had they once addressed how he really felt at having been deprived of his only child for her entire childhood. 
 
“Then it was only a matter of time before your true feelings came out,” she said. 
 
“But I love her,” he insisted.  “I could never hate her, ever!” 
 
“Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’ll never get mad at them,” she pointed out quietly.  “Look at me and Mom for the last three years.  We bickered constantly, and I told her more than once that I hated her and that she was ruining my life…but that’s how people are sometimes.  Even grown-ups.” 
 
He stared at his daughter, surprised at the wisdom in her words.  He remembered resenting his parents when he’d had to stay home and muck out stables while other kids were out playing basketball and going to watch the Sharks games.  And he remembered all too well how his parents would often disagree with each other and have heated arguments, but they’d always make up afterwards. 
 
Never let the sun go down on your anger, son, his father always would say.  If you have a grudge with someone, make sure you settle it before you go to bed.  Especially when you have to share that bed. 
 
 Clark smiled at the memory, but also frowned in worry.  It had been a week since he and Chloe had argued, and it occurred to him that maybe he might have left his apology too late. 
 
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” he whispered. 
 
“If I know Mom, she’s probably asking herself the very same thing, whether you’ll ever forgive her.”
 
“Of course I do---”
 
“Do you really?” she said softly.  “Deep down, have you really let it all go, one hundred percent?” 
 
He sighed.  “It hurts, Gabby,” he said, visibly pained.  “She hurt me, deeper than she could have ever thought possible.  You’re my child.  How could she deny me of that?” 
 
“Did you ever ask her that?”
 
He nodded.  “Oh, yeah.”
 
“And what did she tell you?”
 
His jaw hardened.  “That she did what she had to do; that if she’d told me about you, I’d never have fully embraced my destiny and become Superman.”
 
Gabby narrowed her eyes and stared out over the horizon, looking thoughtful.  More than just thoughtful, he noticed; she looked as if she had a secret she was wondering if she ought to share.
 
“What do you know, Gabriella?” he asked in a soft but firm voice. 
 
She swallowed hard.  “Dad…I’ve been wondering how to tell you this, and even now I don’t know if this will help, and I’m not saying Mom was right and you’re wrong, not at all…but you deserve to know the truth, and if it helps you understand what Mom did a little but more---”
 
“What are you talking about?” he asked, perplexed. 
 
She took a deep breath, and answered.
 
“Mom wasn’t the only one who kept me from you, Dad,” she whispered.  “Jor-El did, too.”
 
***
 
Chapter 22…

Comments

[marikology.livejournal.com]

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! As soon as Jor-El oh so casually remarked that he knew when Gabby was conceived, I was like, wait a minute... he had Clark for 10 years and didn't tell him?!? stupid Jor-El!

But the sad thing is, even though Chloe said some things out of anger that she didn't mean, her reasoning was very insightful, and well-thought out. She *had* interrupted his training once before. And it's easy for Clark to say that he would have been a dad and still Superman, but his track record says differently. I feel like everytime Chloe is up between a rock and a hard place, nobody is on her team. :(

This chapter was so sad and angsty, the two of them keeping each other at arm's length over hurt feelings for the millionth time. Neither of them ever change. Gabby's meddling is actually needed now.

[bkwurm1.livejournal.com]

I guess I am an optimist because I considered it a good sign that they were still playing tiptoe around each other. I mean if either of them really wanted to give up they would have moved out or switched shifts at work.

Even with my earlier optimism, glad to know there is someone else to share the blame.

[jacques21.livejournal.com]

Ooh I wonder what Clark's reaction will be since Gabby has spilled the beans on Jor-El keeping the truth.

I can see why the AI didn't say anything at first, seeing as it was totally corrupted, but why didn't it tell Clark the truth after getting fixed?

[mari2anne.livejournal.com]

I already know Gabby's future will have to embrace her natural talent:
Peacemaker!